Florida Fishing

As fish nights go this evening was something new. Most fish give me a great laugh with crazy calls, misguided statements, and their belief in how “skilled” they are. Tonight, was totally different, the fish of the night was just irritating.

We will simply call the fish of the night Florida Fish (FF for short). This guy walks in with one of those OBNOXIOUS Hawaiian shirts on. Of course it is unbuttoned at least two buttons, showing grey/white chest hair. He also had that aging hipster haircut, it’s about mid neck long and stringy.

From the first words out of his mouth, I know it will be a long night. In a FAKE southern accent he tells us he is from Florida and not used to these low stakes. Immediately my BS detector goes off – Florida has a max 2 dollar bet on every round. I call him on it and he stutters a bit and mumbles something about a “new law”.

Now as it turns out FF thinks he is the next Phil Helmuth. Every time someone raises he points out there position and talks about how often they raise. This is followed by him taking at least 2 minutes to call/fold/raise. This is really what irritated me about this player. I don’t care if you have to go in the tank for a real decision – but there is NO WAY this guy picked up a hand to EVERY raise.

You may be thinking this guy isn’t a fish, just your average idiot. This guy is a different breed of fish. I think of FF as the “(barely) educated” fish. He has read one book and has just enough information to sound like he knows what is going on. However, watch him play and his fish tendencies come through.

This guy had 2 ways to play a hand. Get it all in before the flop or get it all in on the flop. I watched him feed 2 or 3 different players. ANY pair was good enough for this guy to get it ALL IN on the flop.

How did our fishy friend leave? Well after getting it all in before the flop for probably the 6th or 7th time and behind and not improving he says “I gotta get out of here, getting sucked out way to much here!”

I shit you not, he was ahead ONCE when he got all in and there was no suck out.

I realize this post is not great material. I just wanted to bring you the (barely) Educated fish. Keep in mind he is totally different from the TV fish. The TV fish only know’s what he has seen on TV and tries to emulate the pro’s.

How do you spot a (barely)Educated fish?

1. They constantly talk about odds incorrectly.

2. They talk about position relating to other players – but totally ignore it when they make raises/calls.

3. They are the most likely to “gamble” with you. Not because it’s good poker, but because the books says they “half to” in these spots. However, they read a tournament book and they are playing cash games.

We can close with how I played. I managed to be a whole 5bb up tonight. Why? Mostly due to being card dead (while FF is spewing chips) and having any play I make get re-raised.  By the time the table was shorthanded, I was down a buy in. Thank god in short handed I managed to run over the table. My cards had not improved, but aggressive play against what was a pretty tight table worked in my favor.  For me personally it was an uneventful night.